Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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