no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
