so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
my sisters under your porch take her home
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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