So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
