North Korea, Best Korea!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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