Don't you send me to vm
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
