I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
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They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
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My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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