no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize