Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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