Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
