the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Randomize
