Don't make out with my wife yet
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
