Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
