His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
