Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
