i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
