when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I party with great urgency now.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
