Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
tell me about the eggs
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
