I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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