her vagine was all disorganized.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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