I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
it's great music for shaving your balls
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
