i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
