guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
