im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
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I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
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Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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