After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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