shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
