Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
