felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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