Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
