You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
