Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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