the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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