im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
