My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize