Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Less talking, more tequila
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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