Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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