And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
