Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize