I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
