Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
