I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
