You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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