So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When are your genitals available?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
