Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
