evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
