You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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