She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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