Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
