I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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