Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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