I want to have your abortion
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
