lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
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I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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