the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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