you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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