Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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