The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
