It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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