i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
im six kinds of drunk right now
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
