A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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