Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I party with great urgency now.
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