He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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