Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
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She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
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You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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