Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize