I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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