i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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