Don't make out with my wife yet
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
