I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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